The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Vibrating Tattoo

Apparently having your phone vibrate in your pocket isn’t enough. Finnish phone manufacturer Nokia took things a step further when they filed a patent for a vibrating tattoo that would alert users when their phone rings.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Anti-Eating Face Mask

If you want to stop your overweight child from eating too much, this cage-like mask could be your solution. The mask makes it nearly impossible to sneak in even a crumb, though it has a cup-shaped mesh to allow the person to breathe. Patented in 1982, this could be something a sadistic diet camp director could impose on those who are trying to lose weight. However, what would stop hungry dieters from taking this contraption off was never made clear.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

High-Five Machine

Boost your self-esteem with this high-five machine if nobody wants to do it with you! Patented in 1993, this machine allows you to stimulate the celebratory effect of high-5’ing as a convenient outlet for the release of excitement. According to the patent’s instructions, you will have to affix the high-five machine to the wall or set it in a table, as it improves your hand-and-eye coordination and your mood, by giving the plastic arm a high-five anytime you want to.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Portable Nuclear Shield

Afraid of the coming Apocalypse? This shield will protect you should a nuclear bomb ever be dropped in your area. According to its patent, all you need to do is to dig a hole and unfold the Portable Nuclear Shield over your head and you will be free from its harmful contaminants. Hopefully you’re good at digging fast!

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Hiccup Treatment

Hiccups can be troublesome and if drinking lots of water or holding your breath do not seem to work, this 2003-patented hiccup treatment might help. For persistent hiccups that last for 48 hours or more you can supposedly have them zapped away with a small electric shock. While drinking water, the electrodes placed along a metal rod will be used to shock your vagus and phrenic nerves to stop the hiccup.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Flatulence Deodorizing Pad

If your fart stinks, just use the patented Flat-D flatulent deodorizing pad and you will never have to worry about making people choke again. This product is made from activated charcoal pads, which absorb and filter the air to save you from the embarrassing situation.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Life Expectancy Watch

Ever wonder how long you have left on this planet? Well wonder now more. Now you can have the ultimate countdown wrapped around your wrist and not look like the most gullible person in the world…no…not at all.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Comb-Over Hair and Conceal Baldness

The patent for the Method of Concealing Partial Baldness was filed on December 1975 by the father and son team of Frank and Donald Smith from Orlando, Fl. According to its abstract it was a method of styling hair to cover partial baldness using only the hair on the person’s head. These entail dividing the remaining hair into three sections, and then combing it across your head. Who knew Donald Trump’s hair is patented?

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Snake Walking System

Some people walk their dogs, other people walk their snakes. What more can we say?

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Thumb-sucking Inhibitor

If you think that your child is too old for the habit of thumb-sucking, you can stop this nasty habit once and for all with the thumb-sucking inhibitor. A covering for the thumb made of metal casing is attached to a bracelet and is adjusted to custom fit your child’s thumb. Hopefully they don’t enjoy the taste of metal.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Portable Bath Capsule

This invention was made as an alternative to sponge baths administered to patients in hospitals and nursing homes. The patient would be encapsulated in an elongated sheath of fluid tight material, thereby enclosing the whole body of the patient except for the head. There is an inlet to admitting fluid and an outlet for drawing out the dirty water. Though it may seem like a practical idea, there are no reports of successful usage.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Crustless PB&J

The Crustless Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich has become infamous for its groundbreaking ability to make something so simple become so complex. Patented in 2001 by Smuckers the patent has also been very controversial. Seriously, who patents a sandwich?

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Brain Buzzer

Want something that will keep you awake during long speeches or long-night movie marathons, just bite down on the small end of the vibrating wand and you will be jolted to your senses. This wand will transmit vibrations to your brain that will buzz you awake without disturbing your neighbor. Not very comfortable but apparently that would be the point!

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Dog Ear Protectors

Designed to ‘protect the ears of long eared animals, especially dogs, from coming into contact with their food or drink while they eat’ don’t expect to win any style points for your pooch with these things.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Banana Protective Device

Why would you ever need one? No one knows, but apparently some people highly value the safety of their bananas. With the banana protective device they claim that you will never have to worry about bruised, brown, or smelly bananas in your lunch box.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Gerbil Shirt

One of the most ridiculous patents ever, the Gerbil shirt was intended for pet owners who want to take their little pets for a walk out in the sun. This pet display vest has an elongated, enclosed, pet-receiving passageway that is transparent so people can view the gerbil or rodents as they go through the maze.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Disposable Boxer Shorts

Being in college can be tough. You have to cook your own food and do your own laundry. What a nightmare, but…enter disposable boxer shorts. They were patented on April Fool’s Day of 2003. Go figure.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Dog Chastity Belt

One would think that neutering or spaying would be easier but hey, not whoever applied for this patent.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

The Beerbrella

According to its inventor, the beerbrella can be attached to a beverage container in order to shade it from the direct rays of the sun…or the rain…or whatever you want to shade your drink from.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Deceptive Diaper

We’re not sure who exactly would need a diaper disguised as a candybar but apparently there is some demand out there.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Improved Human Slingshot Machine

Though it looks like the original Human Slingshot machine, which was patented in 1995; the improved version promises to solve the deficiencies of its predecessor. One of the major deficiencies of the former slingshot was the tendency for the rubber strands to deteriorate, so this can be a substantial development indeed if this can be improved. In its patent it explains that ‘the invention relates to an amusement device….used to successively propel and retard the rider to cause the rider to undergo a vertically oscillatory motion.’

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Better Mouse Trap

Patented in 2003, the better mouse trap is just one of many “better mousetraps” that were patented since 1976. It seems that mouse catching technology is slowly improving.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Stealth Fly Swatter

Yes, flies can be annoying, especially if you are eating a bowl of noodles and do not have the Chinese chopsticks to catch them with. According to this patent, the traditional bigger fly swatters are cumbersome and have hygiene concerns as well; so you will need a miniature device that can be fixed to the end of your index finger. By simply flicking your finger, you will discourage those flies from bugging you.

The Vibrating Tattoo and Other Inventions

Carry Out Food Container

Though there are a number of carry out food containers that have been patented before; this product, which was just patented in 2008 stood out for its lack of originality where the only addition made to prior designs was the attachment of wax paper. According to its patent, ‘the process of covering the food becomes more effective, and the overall appearance of the carry-out container enhanced.’ The originality is overwhelming.

This article was written by the List25 Team and first appeared on list25.com

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